the planet of lost socks and the story of a perfect nipple…

As I was sitting on my next to my sofa and brainstorming (u like the word ha 🙂 ) about the next step after implementing the god damn HARDI reader, an uncontrolled thought overpossessed my brain? What if there is a planet where all the missing sock go? (actually I am still grieving over my favorite fluffy pink sock). I decided to google since whatever is on internet and on TV must be true and indeed there are many people who were actually tortured by the thoughts of the missing socks…

Just take a look at some:

http://www.etext.org/zines/planet/pm4/lostsoks.htm

http://uplink.space.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=phenomena&Number=719967&page=7&view=expanded&sb=5&o=0&fpart=

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/266763/seriously_where_do_those_missing_socks.html

http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=67987

Of course there are some idiots that try to do some logical reasoning and even give their old washing machine to be decomposed so they could solve the mystery, but duuh, since the time of ancient philosophers we do know that we could absolutely rely on the power of the pure human reasoning. So I decided to conclude that indeed the planet of missing socks exists and that once in a while you have to let your favorite sock find its way into the universe and establish harmony and balance… It’s all about being in harmony with the universe… Which leads me to the other part of my reasoning…

Since socks are closely related to breast especially nipples, (don’t ask for arguments right now I need a time to find the way all along the pipeline) I did some brainstorming (here you go again)!!! The hypothetical or not so hypothetical question is: tadadadadadadadadada

What is the definition of a perfect nipple?

Some people might say that this question is very subjective w.r.t. the difference in taste of nipples, but c’mon who still nowadays believe in democracy?!?!

Let’s first define couple of important features of a nipple:

1. Shape
2. Size
3. Color
4. Position
5. Other

W.r.t. the first of the features, a perfect nipple should be roundish, with smooth pointy tip, with not much difference in the gradient when is in more erect phase (for ex. cold water). Yet there should be increase of the pointiness as the tip, proportional to the environmental changes.

2. Size is very important issue. Actually the word size might be misleading and bias. The more proper word is proportion or the ratio of the size of the nipple and the size of the boob. Actually there is technical expression http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nipple+to+Breast+Ratio+(N.B.R.)

so called Nipple to Breast Ratio, so according to my sources which are totally objective (of course) the ratio should be 1/30. Yet the Nipple should be big enough so that an average male hand can tune it easily (as a radio button)

3. You might not believe, but the color of the nipple is maybe the most important feature of all. Light pink and smooth color is preferable and considered as most beautiful!

4. Position strictly centered!!!

5. And before I bore myself to death I must emphasize that one of the most important other issues is the level of hairyness of the area around the nipple so called areola. That level should be -> 0.

Some of the useful links to complete your list of favorites are:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast

the images might scare you though, and leave permanent marks on your sexual life and admiration towards breasts in general

http://www.teenwire.com/infocus/2000/if-20001010p053.php

And google dude, google is very smart and can give you what you need.

Anyway enough bullshitting. I’ll end up this blog with an example of a perfect nipple on a perfect breast:

~ by v3sn4 on September 26, 2007.